As with any job, there are negative side effects that an employee may suffer due to something job related. With stripping, unfortunately there are more than a handful, many of which I'm sure I'll detail in a list someday, but there's one that's almost always on my mind as I run into it every night that I work: racial prejudice. I'm not talking about the consumers here; having a preference or 'type' of girl that you'd most prefer having a dance from is pretty standard. I'm talking about the dancers, myself included.
I came into the stripping industry holding certain views of different races based off of stereotypes and personal experiences, but those views were nothing compared to how I immediately stereotype people now, after working as a dancer for years. I consider myself to be a rather open-minded person; I wouldn't like someone holding opinions about me based solely on my appearance (though that may be a silly ideal considering stripping is almost exactly that), and I would prefer not to think anything about anybody until I've had time to get to know them. Though after dancing for three years, I can definitely say that open-mindedness really does stop when I arrive at work and almost always¹ starts back up again once I leave.
When you talk with upwards of 50 people an evening, and nearly all of them fall into certain stereotypes, it's hard not to expect them. For instance, it's a pretty normal thing to say 'hello' to an Asian customer and have them wave their hand in your face. Obviously, yes, this could be a cultural barrier issue, but it's not. Our culture interprets that as rude and so does the Asian culture, in fact even more so. So why is there a small man's hand in my face when all I have done is greet him with a smile? Um, they think we're all whores. Yeah. It sucks, but in many Asian countries an establishment such as a strip-club symbolizes prostitution. Asian men don't give respect to women who don't give respect to themselves, so I get a hand in my face. This happens so often that it's flat out expected when you see someone who you think is native to an Asian area. As a result, I personally avoid them like the plague.
Another example of a stereotype that I myself target is middle-aged Caucasian men. I won't divulge all of my stripper secrets here, but simply put: they almost always work the same and want the same thing, and I know how to hustle 'em.
Young guys of all shapes and sizes tend to fit into one group, and for me, one very annoying group. They either have egos the size of something rather large and throbbing* ("Look at all of these hot chicks hitting on me! I must be the shizzle!! Fo' realz mutha-fucka!") or they have a vendetta against pretty girls because they've been turned down one too many times at a bar ("I have issues. I should be working this out with a professional therapist, but I have decided instead to take all of my emotional shit out on what I think is a professional punching bag.") Or, my personal favorite: a slight case of turrets syndrome resulting from nervousness ("Oh snap, a pretty girl. What should I….ho bitch cock-sucker mother-fucker tea-bagging titty-fuck extravaganza!"). I'm no professional anything here, but I'd say that this sort of behavior comes from an overall lack of confidence that seems to thrive among the young people. Take this† and call me in the morning ass-hats.
Another group that I tend to avoid are the 'home-boy' types. This isn't so much a racial thing as home-boy's come in all colors, but it certainly is a stereotype recognized by strippers the world over. This is that group of guys that wears baggy pants that they let sag down to their knees, way too much bling, and an attitude that tends to match their slumping posture. They're too cool to care and if you don't acknowledge their obvious coolness, you will be shunned and rudely so.
Here's a racial one for you: Mexicans. This is one stereotype that Mexicans rarely deviate from. They all tend to try to get "two-for-one's" or "two-for-$30's" (when we charge $20 per dance). They all understand the word 'no', but don't acknowledge it when it's applied as a "don't fucking touch that again" sort of rule. Oh, and for some reason, they try to hump you like a Chihuahua might. Simulating sex movements, is sort of part of the lap-dance gig, but I've gotta tell ya, if you were humping me like that during sex, I would react exactly the same is if you really were a small dog humping my leg: "Ew, what the fuck are you doing?! Get off of me!!"
That guy wearing the work-out shorts: Seriously, we know you're not on your way to or from the gym…did you really think we were dumb enough to not see that yes those nylon pants are exceptionally thin? These guys gross me out, seriously. And yes, unfortunately it is a frequently spotted 'type' of guy.
Couples are either awesome or terrifying and it depends entirely on the female half. Type one: the woman is genuinely excited, at least a little bisexual, and sincerely enjoying herself. These couples are always fun to talk to and dance for because you get to interact with their own sexy energy. And then there's type two: the woman is incredibly uncomfortable, just there to prove something/impress her man, and is highly negatively critical of the dancers. Jealousy also plays a huge role in type two and if you're that woman, I promise honey, we don't want to steal your man; it's our job to flirt. These women are usually wearing a huge sign that says "back off bitches" and are thankfully easy to spot and avoid (unfortunately their male counterparts are frequently left mystified as to why no dancers will talk to them).
And last (for now at least) are groups. Groups, made up of any number of types/ages of people, are surprisingly almost always the same. For me, groups are difficult for a couple of reasons. Number one, because people don't seem to take you as seriously when they think they can fork you off on a less confident member of their group ("Oh I don't want a dance, but my quiet friend here might.") Number two; they carry with them an energy, a kind of confidence bubble that follows them due to constant familiarity with their pack. Additionally all of their different personalities seem to mesh into one, the one of the most dominant member of their group. The whole point of the hustling portion of the job is to quickly connect with and appeal to a person and then sell your personality based on assumed compatibility⁷. I can't tell you how difficult this is to do when they're all the same and they're all overly cocky.
In all of these cases, there are exceptions to the rule. When I encounter them, I'm usually rather confused, taken aback, and caught off my game. There's stumbling, the occasional stutter and a mental reset: "Hm, maybe they're not all so damn predictable." ….but then I talk to the next guy and we're back at square one.
Regrettably racial stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. I'd like to think I've come to terms with this in a positive way and am using this knowledge to read people better. However I can fairly say that I do limit myself due to the mental roadblocks I have against certain races and types. It's kind of a tricky balance: avoid the person who appears to fit the annoying stereotype and save myself some grief, or go for it and hope he's the rare exception to the rule and that he's entirely tired of lugging around that large wad of money?
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¹ Sometimes it sticks and I have to mentally snap myself out of it in order to not apply these stereotypes to all of humanity out here in the 'real world'.
* Sorry folks, I've had a sexually frustrating evening.
† A large dose of self-confidence and self-worth delivered via rectal suppository
⁷ Does that make sense? I have no idea. I'm tired.
