No Sex In The Champagne Room{Uncensored}

An Update on My Update, Rant Style

We now officially have a handful of girls from the 'dirtier' clubs working at the club where I work. It really honestly only takes one girl giving $20 hand jobs to fuck with the system, but a bunch of nasty girls doing god knows what for next to nothing is really really messing with things. Customers have been much grabbier and much less likely to respect dancer's personal boundaries. Twice in the last week I've had a customer attempt to unbutton his pants during a dance. I now feel that it's important to mention that there is NO SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM when they ask how much the rooms cost. They've been asking upfront how much I charge for 'you know'…No, I don't know. What exactly is it you're looking for in a STRIP CLUB that is not a LAP DANCE? It used to not be much of a problem; after hearing several girls let them know that we don't do that sort of thing, they'd leave or at the very least stop asking. Now they ask ME because some dirty girl offered, but they didn't want the dirty one, they want the one who looks clean. Well yes, obviously we're all whores.

Don't get me wrong, I love whores! I've got some great whore friends, but they don't work out of a strip club. They conduct their business in a way that doesn't negatively affect MY business. What I don't get is why these girls are even bothering with working in a strip club? If you're comfortable with hand jobs, why not work as an independent provider or at a massage parlor perhaps? We have to pay a pretty high house fee to work there, so why not circumvent that and stop fucking with all of the other non-hand-job-giving dancers business?? In short, fuck off. Seriously.

End rant.

Long awaited update…

Wow, a lot has been going on in the Seattle strip club scene.

Here's the bullet version:

• The Company I'm contracted with has opened up yet another club more toward where our stadiums are, I'm assuming to catch the game crowds. As a result, about a third of the girls who I worked with are now working at the new club instead; they also relocated half our staff (bouncers, DJ's, and managers) to the new club. Consequently we have a new general manager, a new relief manager, a new floor manager, a new DJ, and a couple new bouncers. Change is good, but this royally fucked up the flow of the club. Our managers are both trying to prove themselves worthy to who-the-fuck ever, our main DJ is seriously overworked, our floor manager is green (though awesome), and our bouncers are a bit edgy. Christ it feels like a mess in there. It'll mellow out eventually, but I can tell it's going to be a bumpy road.
  
• Three of the other clubs in the area have recently closed (due to the owners being retards with the law). Surprisingly this hasn't affected the club that I work in nearly as much as I had assumed it would. These three clubs were notorious for being a bit dirtier than desired so I think we were all expected to be inundated with 'dirty girls'. Fortunately, however, that's not been the case…yet. They've only been closed a few days, so we'll see. We have however been getting those club's ex patrons. Those are fun. I've literally been asked what my "mileage" is. Ew.
  
• Additionally another local infamous adult establishment, a peepshow, will be closing in the next month. No idea what that might do to the industry climate, but I guess we'll see.
  
• What else….let's see…oh here's another thing: everybody is fucking pissed at someone. It's like everybody has a problem with somebody right now…or maybe I was just blissfully unaware before… Whichever is the case, it sure is stressful keeping straight who has a beef with who because I talk to everybody. It like when two of your friends in your close friend group are fighting….except it's like everybody. It's entirely maddening.
  
• Lastly, I have a huge crush on my hot (female) boss. I'm attempting to ignore this one for now.
  

So yeah, more clubs, less clubs, bullshit, and crush. That's all for now.

I Call Shenanigans!

There are many words I've used to describe this industry in the past: fun, depressing, sexy, annoying, therapeutic, and destructive; but this evening it was just downright dramatic!

I'm pretty sure there wasn't a full moon, but I really can't think of an explanation for all of these dramatic shenanigans. This evening we had a dancer sent home because she missed her stage, and though this in itself isn't so dramatic, the 'conversation' that took place between our indiscreet manager and said dancer was indeed unnecessarily dramatic. There was a fight between one of our dancers and the DJ over what-the-fuck-ever (insert non-important completely ridiculous and unnecessary details of fight here). Then we had the same tactless manager get into it with one of the other girls about, again, who-knows-what. We had a girl (and when I say 'girl' here, I mean self-centric, nonfunctional, rude twat of a person) completely overmedicate and get stupid with a customer which quickly led to this 'girl' getting stupid with one of our nicest bouncers after she punched said customer in the face. MDMA + Alcohol = Severe Retardation.

Um…What, the, fuck!?

I know times are tough; everybody's stressed out over money. Egos are damaged and people are defensive. The girls aren't making much so therefore our bouncers and DJs, who mainly work for tips, aren't making money and everybody's freaking the fuck out! It just sort of feels like the club has gotten too small for this amount of people carrying around this much stress.

Unfortunately not much can be done about it. I try to offer some sort of reasonable interpretation when it feels right in each of the given situations, but other than that all I can do is stay the fuck out of the way.

Take a chill pill people!